Three months since I began learning how to drive a tractor trailer and I can finally say I have come to understand how truck driving is similar to many complicated sciences like Thermodynamics and Chaos Theory. From truck driving school to orientation to working with two different finishers and getting out on my own, I am not saying that I am anywhere close to understanding this complex science but this familiarity was the place I was hoping to reach when I set out to become a truck driver in early April. I wanted to be alone and feel like I had some kind of base to work from. Now I am finally alone and I am very glad to be here.

My sentiments about truck driving as a science come from Arnold Summerfield, a physicist noted for his clarity of expression, who said this about Thermodynamics;

Thermodynamics is a funny subject.  The first time you go through the subject, you don’t understand it at all. The second time you go through it, you think you understand it, except for one or two small points. The third time you go through it, you know you don’t understand it but by that time you are so used to the subject ,it doesn’t bother you anymore.

This is how I feel about truck driving. For a while I really wondered if I could ever get this at all. Then I thought I was getting it and I was almost ready to celebrate. After my first month solo I realized I will never get this but I don’t care. Things are starting to shape up and I really like it on the road.

The first week solo went pretty well but it was far from being perfect. I was still nervous as hell each time I pulled off the interstate and I really didn’t know if I was going to crash the truck or do something disastrous from moment to moment. There were some very close calls, like the time I forgot to re-inflate my airbags after unhooking from a trailer. I went right ahead and started backing under the next trailer but my Fifth wheel was too low and I started to get caught up underneath.  Then the handle of my fire extinguisher was inadvertently pressed by the weird angle of the trailer so that plumes of white powder started shooting off from my extinguisher!  I was starting to look like a real idiot but I managed to get out from under that trailer without breaking anything and I only had to explain the white cloud of fire extinguishing powder to one curious employee who had been walking past the dock when the thing went off. “Is there a fire?” he said looking around at the white powder floating through the air. “No” I said. “My extinguisher got crunched between my truck and trailer for a second but everything is fine.” This seemed to make him very happy as he just said “OK” and walked away.

I noticed that when I kept a calm attitude other people usually followed suit. After the first week, I got laid up in Memphis and decided to take a much needed break to visit Graceland. I decided that my main task in the coming months was simply not to HIT ANYTHING and the rest of the puzzle would all fall into place in due time. The main problem seemed to be pulling off the interstate and trying to get myself to the dock in one piece. This is really what makes this job difficult, I thought.  Everywhere you go it’s your first time and there are rarely any clear directions to follow. On one occasion, I was making a left turn onto a road where a waitress came running out of the diner waving at me. “TURN BACK!” she waved and pointed in the direction where I should turn because this was a NO TRUCK ROUTE! I turned through the parking lot and found a better route around the town.

Things like this were always happening and I actually came to just accept it. It took me over 30 minutes to back out of a car parking lot that I was never supposed to be in to begin with.  With construction piled up at the entrance and rain pouring down all around me, keeping my calm when I got into a tight situation had become second nature. Most people don’t know if you have made a mistake in truck driving because they don’t understand anything about trucks to begin with. They only thing they know is that you are holding them up and they just want to get around you no matter who or what you are doing. “Who cares if you made a mistake? Just get out of the way and let me get moving again!”

Of course, just when I thought the interstates were the safest place to be, I had another close call after visiting Graceland.  I had slowed down to 55 in a 65 on a rainy interstate but could have probably slowed even further to 50.  I had just come up over a big hill and suddenly noticed that traffic had come to a complete stop in front of me. “OH SHIT!!!” I was on the way back down with a full load and slammed on the brakes HARD.  Almost immediately I  felt the trailer start to skid against the wet pavement behind me. As I knew it was coming, I started pumping the brakes up and down and turning the truck to the shoulder in case my brakes were going to save me.

In fact,  I used up every bit of my air tanks to stop that truck and it came to a skidding stop about 10 yards short of the car ahead of me.  I was sitting there breathless and in total gratitude with only the sound of my air brake warning lights beeping and telling me I had used up everything I had.  Maybe I would have missed this car by going to the shoulder but it didn’t mean I wasn’t scared to death after coming to such a screeching stop. Good thing I was only hauling giant loads of roofing paper and not a truckload of eggs!  I pulled to the shoulder to give the air tanks a chance to fill up again and looked behind me at another driver who had just been through the same thing as me. He pulled over as well and we both gave thanks for still being alive.  Next time it rained, I would slow down to 50 in a 65 and pay special attention at the top of each hill as I barreled over it like there was no tomorrow.

Truck driving is a dangerous job but it has started turning me into a better person. I never prayed much before I started driving a truck but I found myself asking “Someone” or “Something” to please get me through this on several different occasions. Maybe I was starting to develop a relationship with a Higher Power that I had neglected in the past when things always seemed more “solid” and “secure.” Truck driving is good for the soul I think. It keeps you awake and aware and, most of all, it keeps you humble and glad to be alive.

In the loving arena of spiritual work, confrontation is often overlooked as an important aspect of maintaining the nerve of the Kundalini. The image to the left shows the Kundalini serpents intertwined and illustrates the connection between those things which calibrate below 200 and those above. (Hawkins, Map of Consciousness). This is the context that Dr. David Hawkins describes as the “critical line” between what is healthy and what is unhealthy.

Since it is unavoidable to encounter energies below 200, we must act as so-called “spiritual warriors” in order to maintain our Kundalini nerve. In fact the world is said to be so negative that enlightenment is virtually impossible in this life. Instead, we are often drained of our energy and the dark night of the soul is our eventual demise. After about 6 years of Kundalini rising, I began to experience a prolonged period, also referred to by Hawkins as the “D ark Night of the Ego.”  This required that I deal with a lot of negative energies which actually seemed to manifest in the real world.  It is important to remember our higher teachings during times like these. For example, Ramana Maharshi teaches that “The world you see doesn’t even exist.  We can apply this truth as we build a new foundation in our spiritual journey.

I will provide a concrete example but I will give the dry, bland explanation first. In reference to consciousness calibration, we may have previously held a bottom line in our daily perception where our energy level sometimes went down as low as 20 or 30 on certain occasions. (Hawkins, Map of Consciousness). After the rising of the Kundalini, we may now have a stronger bottom line.  Perception changes and we may only go down to 60 or 80 calibration on certain rare occasions.

This subtle change in our daily experience creates a very profound change in our overall calibration. This is because our system is now regenerating at a higher rate. This can’t be seen by others but our overall energy is actually much higher and we can do more positive things in the “real world” so to speak. This new experience also serves as a confirmation to us and makes it possible for further growth down the road.

So,…..having given that brief explanation, I thought it was appropriate to tell a short story about my team training as a truck driver. Many trainers in truck driving are former Marines and they have a very clever approach to their art. This is my first week of training as a truck driver on the road and  I have a trainer in the cab with me who guides me along my “spiritual path” so to speak.  True story; 2000 miles with “Colonel Kurtz” and things were still going surprisingly well.  He had a very nice side to him even if it didn’t come out very often. Calibration level seemed to be about 190.

Kurtz actually warned me about his harsh personality when we first met. “Something I have learned about myself,” he said, “Is that my voice raises up sometimes and I don’t realize it.” This was a nice thing to say but, 5 days into the trip, I was starting to think he never realized this about himself at all. This is the difference between conscious and unconscious that Jung and Freud speak of. “Try not to yell at me.” I kept saying to him. Every time I would screw up my shifting or forget to look at my signs on the road, he would yell at me as if we were going to die. I hadn’t been on the road more than 3 days and he seemed to think I should have this whole thing down pat. I really wished he would relax.

You really have to keep a wide perspective when you are with someone on the road this much. I had also confessed my weaknesses to Kurtz at our first meeting. “I have a tendency to over-think everything and then I miss the most basic simple things.” This is especially true when I am trying to learn something stressful like driving.  I need to concentrate. The two of us in the same cab could have been a formula for disaster once he started yelling. This could have caused me to lose my nerve.

To make matters worse, the colonel’s outbursts seemed to come at completely random moments. He had 10 years experience as a driver and had been with over 400 students but there was one dark side to him that still kept me skeptical. Kurtz had been involved in a rollover of his truck many years back. I will explain more about this in just a moment.

To put it briefly, I started placing a lot of his comments on the back burner of my mind while I was actually driving. Then I was able to keep my main priority on the road. Sometimes he didn’t seem to get the fact that I was having trouble concentrating. He was also getting wise to my strategy of “putting him on the back burner” and said to me “You are saying ‘OK’ but you aren’t really listening to me!” Once he said this, I knew we were going to have a big problem.

Kurtz wasn’t stupid but he also didn’t understand the way I operate.  I need to have a calm mind in order to concentrate. I have a brain that already works overtime and then I forget to tie my shoe if I don’t stay focused. If you need me to psychoanlayze your personality, this is not a problem. If you need me to remember the keys, this is not in the range of my ability.  Then, when someone is yelling at me, the whole thing tends to spin out of control pretty fast. Anyway, the bottom line was that I was still a beginner as a truck driver but I really needed Kurtz to stop yelling.

I had already psychoanalyzed Kurtz a thousand times over. He had been involved in a rollover many years ago when a drunk driver had drifted into his lane. He had ditched the truck in order to avoid a head-on collision. The courts had determined his accident to be “preventable” because he didn’t maintain his lane. He saved the life of another driver, but he rolled the truck.  Fired from his job but with no penalty on his license, Kurtz was hired back by another company four months later. Then, after being set free on the roads again, he shifted into high gear with a personal vendetta against 4-wheelers. This was particularly true for the cars who didn’t stay in their lane.

“Never change lanes unless it’s totally necessary!” Kurtz yelled at me again. Of course, this was good advice in most circumstances. In our case, the term “necessary” had become a serious point of contention.  The cars up ahead were doing U-turns on the grass, just next to an on-ramp.   They were trying to turn around after coming down the ramp because they saw the traffic delay a half mile ahead. This was illegal and one of them even turned around with his rear-end in my lane. I signaled to the left to avoid the danger and then started to move over.

“What are you doing!” Kurtz yelled. “Don’t change lanes I told you!  Run those cars down!” I ignored him and continued to move to the left. “What are you doing! We will get PAID if you hit those cars!” I started laughing at Kurtz but he wasn’t laughing.  I needed to keep things light with this guy because I still had two or three weeks left with him.  When it seemed like he wasn’t going to let up on me, I knew we were going to have a showdown.  At first I would try a flanking move- the “guard-house lawyer routine”-   to try and talk Kurtz through his anger.  “You did the right thing when you ditched that truck.” I told him. This didn’t work at all. Don’t forget, “I was an errand boy.”

Anyway, if I had wanted to be a psychiatrist, I would have stayed in school.  Believe it or not, I actually wanted to be a truck driver. That’s why it meant that we finally needed to have a showdown at a fuel stop 1200 miles into the trip. Kurtz was screaming about the way I made my turn and totally over-reacting. “Calm down!” I kept yelling back. “Relax!”  This seemed to only increase his anger toward me and we got out of the truck to start filling up the tanks. We were standing next to the pump as he continued to yell back “Don’t tell me to Relax!”  Trying to reason with this guy only fueled the fire. His eyes got extremely wide like he was going to explode. Then he turned around for a minute as if to wind up for a punch. When he turned back, his arm was outstretched and his finger aimed at the driver-side door; “GET IN THE TRUCK!” he commanded and pointed his finger at the door.

This was totally out of line and I knew it. There was no way I was going to get inside that truck as if he were my “father” yelling me to go to my room. Kurtz walked around to the other side as if I would obey but I followed him to the front grill of the truck.  When he turned around, I didn’t flinch. “This is bullshit!” I yelled back. “If you keep yelling at me like that I will call the company and get another finisher!”  Then something amazing happened. Kurtz actually backed off, just a bit, and I was totally surprised.  He calmed down his voice and reminded me of his tendency to forget.  It was like an instant cure- a powerful tranquilizer hitting your blood stream, and I felt like everything was going to be all right. I had gotten through to him and it was almost like Shaktipat transferred from me over to him.Ramana Maharshi also talks about how the Kundalini can be transferred from one person to another. Not only had Kurtz calmed down but I was also quickly able to focus my mind and listen to everything he was trying to say.  We  were working it out. We were getting along together.

We washed the windshield together and got right back on the road. Kurtz decided to take the wheel this time, at least for a couple of hours, and I sat in the passenger seat talking my head off about the Philippines. He was laughing at me as I talked and telling me that he wanted to go there someday. Maybe I would still be able to get my girl to the USA, I thought. This truck driving thing might not be so bad.  As the truck continued down I-75, Kurtz started telling me how things weren’t going too well with his wife. He wanted to go to the Philippines to find a girl for himself. His wife had actually been filing divorce and she seemed to be dragging him around by the ear.

This may have been the first incident in six years that I truly saw how the Kundalini can be transferred from one person to another.  There are other explanations, of course, but this explanation would be the one which would calibrate the highest. Who knows, maybe Kurtz and I would become good friends down the road. He could find a beautiful Filipina fiancée and there wouldn’t be any need to yell at his “stupid” students anymore.

It would take a lot more spiritual work but Kurtz also told me he was thinking about going back to solo driving again. He missed the time alone in the northwest and the scenery of beautiful states like Oregon and Washington. He also wanted to visit his son up there and take a little time off. With 320 days out and 50 days of home-time saved, it seems like it was long since time for a change. God certainly works in mysterious ways. If He is willing, I will also find my destiny somewhere down the road.

Kundalini Drawing

Today actually marks six years of Kundalini rising and falling for me. I say falling because that is what it starts to do after the first year and, even though you can increase your practice, it is inevitable that the energy will drop down and you will feel much the same way you felt before it ever rose in the first place.  For me, it seems to have been traveling up into the Agnya Chakra and trying to dissolve a blockage there for many years now. By the grace of God, it will someday penetrate this blockage and move up into the Sahastrara or Crown Chakra where enlightenment will take place.

The opening of many of Dr. David Hawkins’ books start with a caveat that says “the material is dangerous” and that it can result in changes that many people may not be ready for. I’m paraphrasing but those who’ve been reading my blog can be warned here again.  The caveat is not some kind of “reverse-psychology” trick designed to sell books. It’s serious.

Hawkins’s teaching can bring about the Kundalini explosion and, although it was absolutely wonderful the first year, over a longer periods like 6 years or more, it gets to where you basically can’t get along with anyone for more than short intervals. The work I do has to be either extremely simple or something I have already done many times before. That put me in a very precarious position this year when I needed to go for a change of career.

My fiancée wanted to move to the US and I started to think I was going to lose her if I didn’t find a way to make more money. I am not trying to be discouraging but you may really want to prepare yourself for things like this ahead of time. I had some intuition about this and I don’t think the Kundalini will really begin until you feel you are prepared. Still, you might also need to re-enter the world again and find a way to function at a fairly high level. For me, this meant going to truck driver school and learning how to drive those big 18-wheeler trucks. Freelance writing just wasn’t going to pay the bills in the USA like it had done in the Philippines.

As Paul the Apostle says, you need to have worldly concerns if you want to get married. Grace has played a big part in my life but I couldn’t afford to be naïve if I intended to get married or even physically survive this experience. Eventually, the world would catch up with me just like it caught up with Jesus Christ. These are better times but you still have to work to make a living. Spiritual students need to think about it and prepare. Use the brain that God gave you and be ready for what Hawkins refers to as “The Dark Night of the Ego.”

Case in point;…Hawkins mentions that he sold manure for a long time, driving a truck back and forth to his customers during the period when he was adjusting to the Kundalini energy. Why would he have done something so strange when he was already a proven success in the professional world? Was he trying to practice humility? It’s possible but I suspect another answer to be more likely. He was going through a difficult period and he simply couldn’t manage his life as a psychiatrist anymore.

Not only did I need more money to manage my life this year but I needed simple, steady work to keep from degenerating into a backward motion in the Philippines. I couldn’t stay there anymore because things were starting to degenerate all around me. Even a reasonable person would have seen this so the answer soon became obvious. Much of it was due to my own deteriorating attitude and not to anything outside of me. I could paint it in all kinds of different ways but spiritual degeneration is the real underlying reason I had to go back to the US. The past three years have been very difficult and I finally had to move back to get things together again.

The relative bliss of the Kundalini basically disappeared after three years and there often seemed little left than the stark realities of the Philippines.  Did I ever really think about how troubling this was?  Not really.  The bliss seemed to keep me immune from it during the first few years I was there and then I rode out the simple grace that God had provided until I realized I needed to regroup. In 2004, the Philippines began as a personal/ spiritual challenge. Then within a year it quickly turned into spiritual success, largely thanks to Dr. Hawkins seminars and books that I carried with me.

Today, I can see that I probably act like a grumpy old man most of the time. The Kundalini kept me riding above things for many years. I was almost always smiling for the first year.  But now, without the blissful feeling inside, the only consolation I can muster up is that I have begun to feel very distant and almost like I am in a dream most of the time. Granted, it often feels like a bad dream rather than a good one but, regardless of this, I don’t get as caught up in it because it still feels like a dream.

With the kundalini, you start to feel like you are underwater all the time, much the way the energy is depicted in the movie The Big Blue. It’s a constant reminder that this isn’t real. The Kundalini does provide that, but this is also a mixed blessing. You are immune to the pain in some ways but you are also incapable of getting involved with people like you used to. I spend most of my time alone and I prefer it that way. When people close to you express some kind of spiritual error, you really freak out and have trouble extricating yourself from it. That’s why it is just better to be alone.

I have taken up OTR truck driving, of all things, as a way of staying away from deep involvements with other people and also making it possible to pay my bills. For those who don’t know, “OTR” stands for “Over the Road” and it means that you are gone all the time, driving for weeks at a time by yourself. I can stay away from deep involvements with others and manage to stay afloat while the Dark Night of the Ego works its way out. I hope I can work through the final stages of the adjustment to the energy while I do this job and get to the point where I am happy again. Right now it seems like this is still a good number of years away. I am guessing it will be something like 3-4 more years at the least.

The truth is, I was really naïve about what the Kundalini would provide to me before it happened. I thought this would be the answer to all my problems and it wouldn’t matter, after that, if I died or became a huge success. The truth is, nobody cares that the Kundalini happens to you and, what’s more, Hawkins’ method of truth testing, which first seemed so hopeful and promising, now seems like a cruel joke in many ways.

Why does it seem like a cruel joke? Well, nobody knows how to use the method properly so what good is it for those of us who have to wait around for the world to catch up? In the end, it really only seems to express the profound truth that 79% of the world calibrates under 200, and that everyone else is barely able to use the method anyway. It did something great for me personally but my social life, career, and finances seem only to have moved forward at the same pace they would have moved without such a change.

I guess I can’t say something like that with great confidence because hypothetical situations aren’t real and we only can see what IS. Nonetheless, I am looking at a different perception than what I imagined 6 years ago. Maybe I hadn’t imagined anything this far ahead so I guess the situation is still a bit of a surprise. Do I sound angry and upset? Yes, I get angry. It’s the dark night of the ego after six years in. With another four or five before I am supposedly “used to the energy,” I get mad but I am not sure what I am really mad about.

Back to the drawing board. The next few years will consist of me developing a new plan to return to a spiritual life. This will need to take into account all the things that I never bargained on before the Kundalini first burst forth. Having outlived my own satisfaction with spiritual progress, I now have to look outward instead of inward. Humanity calibrates at 207 and it won’t be moving up into the 400’s for at least another millennium.  I supercharged my website this year but now it is time to get busy with that next huge problem. My starting point this year becomes nothing less than learning how to drive a big rig truck in the good old USA. God Bless!

Double Blind Bullying

If I sound defensive when I speak about the misuse of muscle testing, then you are probably on the right track. Who wouldn’t get defensive if someone were to grab your arm and tell you they had proven that your method was a load of crap!? People often interpret defensive behavior in a negative context but it isn’t always a sign of weakness. Sometimes the strongest individuals are the ones who can stand up to the bullies instead of walking away.  Pride is actually more powerful than anger and especially more powerful than tears.  When kids succeed in bullying the outcasts in their class, they grow up to be adults who continue to attack. They only adopt a new angle on the so-called “outcasts” and seek to cover up new difficulties by lashing out at others. The popular TV show “Glee” is making great strides on this front and Gwyneth Paltrow even surprised us this week by mentioning the words “muscle testing” on that show. Has muscle testing already gotten tied up with the problem of bullying? Although I have already discussed the many “attacks” on Dr. David Hawkins, let’s look closer at how kids form their character early in life and may carry it into their adulthood as either an “oddball” or a “bully.”

A Gleeful Childhood

Just like the odd kids in Glee, I also remember a very strange kid from my neighborhood who wore thick glasses everywhere he went. Other kids used to make fun of him saying he was “blind” but, looking back, it may have been they who were actually “double blind.”  The weird kid I remember was too young to hang around me but he used to follow my younger brother around a lot. He tried to fit in with his own age group but he really couldn’t fit in anywhere at all.

One day my younger brother came home and told me how he and his friends had made this weird kid really “freak out.”  They had all gathered around him in a circle and had clasped their hands together so the kid couldn’t escape. They said it was “hilarious” how the kid had started getting so angry and actually lashed out at the other kids. I told my brother he should stop harassing that weird kid. Not only was it mean but he might grow up to be a bigger and stronger than you!  President Barack Obama has recalled his own childhood experiences of having been bullied for his “big ears” and his “odd name.” A famous quote by Bill Gates says “Don’t pick on the nerdy kid. You might end up working for him some day.”

Adult Bullies vs. Adult Victims

The fact is, even when kids are grown up, they often end up bullying people without realizing it. Many unresolved problems with anger carry on into adult life and people remain secretly sensitive to the bullying that took place in their childhood. They are always on the lookout for it wherever they go and many jobs and marriages can come to an end over issues like these.  Even those who are far ahead of the curve when it comes to things like science and abstract thought aren’t going to get over the emotions that lay dormant underneath.

A case in point is Shawn Nevins and his critical post of Dr. David R. Hawkins muscle testing method.  The negative energy it took to initially post this biting criticism of Dr. HawkinsThese  comes from an energy in the spleen which often stores great levels of anger and hate. These energies just sit there in the subconscious and they contribute to each and every thought we have. Anger gets buried deep inside and people often cover it with behaviors like sarcasm or a general cynicism about spiritual teachings. They spend more of their time associating with “scientists and politicians” who calibrate in the 300’s and 400’s because this gives them a sense of security. Everybody else, to them, tends to raise eyebrows and look suspicious.

Scientific criticism and skepticism are often used as a defense mechanism in life.  They are safe power positions which are widely believed to be part of a “reasonable approach to life.”  The interesting thing is that skepticism is not especially reasonable unless it is founded upon something solid. The misuse of science puts skepticism in a comfortable little nest because it certainly seems “reasonable” to remain skeptical of most things you see or read about in today’s world.

Once skepticism finds a comfortable place in the nest of reason, it is carried around with us everywhere we go.  Like a baby vulture whose egg somehow landed in an eagles’ nest, it grows up to be quite strong and versatile. It also attacks just about anyone or anything that seems the least bit threatening. Because it is subconsciously held, we don’t often realize we are thinking this way. If we begin a more rigorous spiritual program like A Course in Miracles or the 12 steps of AA, something which is both high in calibration and requires daily attention, we may find that we were a lot more negative than we thought.

It actually takes something extremely powerful and relentless like the Kundalini energy or the Holy Spirit to take hold of our life before we can eject these energies from the nest.  If nothing like this happens, a general attitude of sarcasm and cynicism pervades almost every thought and emotion we have. This kind of behavior can be seen most clearly in Shawn Nevins’ post about Dr. David Hawkins on his website “Spiritual Teachers.”

The truth is, the bullies’ from our childhood don’t end up much better than the “weirdos.” This is, even though the bullies pride was established early in life and the weirdos had some catching up to do. Think about the general trend of life for both bullies and “weirdos.” The bullies might spend the bulk of their thirties drinking and watching sports with their frat buddies. They carve out a decent salary to start a family but they end up cheating on their wives and burying their real fears. The weirdos also go on to “lash out” at anyone who seems threatening to them in their adulthood. When the final day eventually arrives in the hospital, all the scientific discoveries in the world won’t save either of us from the big question.  What was our life really worth?

Help For Bullies and Vicitms

In order to avoid any difficulties later in life, skeptics of Dr. David Hawkins muscle testing method should consider the fact that the muscle testing method is NOT a scientific test. If it was a scientific test, you wouldn’t be able to use it on your death bed and it wouldn’t provide much more help than the temporary cures of science. In fact, nothing scientific will ever help anyone on their death bed. All it will do is postpone the inevitable.  Science won’t give you any comfort during the “Dark Night of the Soul” and it won’t cure the disease that is finally going to catch up with us all. This has been my own experience after 6 years of a Kundalini awakening. All things scientific begin to rise up from the subconscious and you realize they are really quite useless. Thank GOD that Dr. Hawkins’ muscle testing method is not a scientific method! It is a spiritual method that can help you right up to the point when you are ready to meet your maker.

The method of consciousness calibration is described very clearly in the context of Dr. Hawkins Map of Consciousness (Hawkins, 1995) and it is placed far outside the context of science or reason. It is placed here for more than just a simple reason. Critics of the test typically attack it through a scientific or mathematical angle and it’s higher status helps it remains invulnerable. Students of ACIM are quite familiar with this as they understand the lesson which reads “My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability.” (Lesson 26, ACIM) Will the typical scientist or engineer understand the meaning of this lesson or dismiss it as “fantastic” and “obscure?”

The ACIM lesson instructs us thus; Place the idea in the following contect; I am concerned about [Negative Critics of Dr. David Hawkins]. Then go over every possible outcome that has occurred to you in that connection and which has caused you concern, referring to each one quite specifically, saying: I am afraid [Others will listen to these critics] will happen. After you have named each outcome of which you are afraid, tell yourself: That thought is an attack upon myself.

We can quote scientific experts until we are blue in the face but we all know that our hearts will stop beating one day and science won’t help us anymore. Things like ACIM and Muscle testing point to a truth beyond time and space. They tell us we are One with everything and that we are invulnerable. They points us toward things that can heal our souls and bring us eternal life. We will all draw our last breath and blink our last blink. Will the arguments of science get us beyond the limitations of our conscious minds then?

Conclusions

Much like bullies in a childhood game, adults also tend to gather around the “weird kid” after they grow up. Instead of sticks and stones, they sometimes throw “scientific statements” like they are going to win some “big double blind experiment” in the sky.  As most people already know, this “winning” isn’t really the way life typically works out in the long run. The weird kid grows up to discover a new “cure for cancer” or “a longer lasting lightbulb.”  Now he has a tool that is a lot more powerful than even his ability to “extend life.” The tool of consciousness calibration can point him beyond science and beyond life with a method that transcends double blind experiments entirely. Take a look at Dr. David Hawkins books again before you go subjecting his method to your own scientific test of “proof.” You might be glad you did.

If I sound defensive, cynical or bitter, this is because I have already seen the fallout of thinking like this. It took years to work through it and the Kundalini energy has become my only hope for burning off the final “defensiveness” in my soul.  When you read these discussions about skepticism and sarcasm, you are seeing my subconscious slowly becoming conscious.  It is burning off in the fire of the Kundalini and I am awakening to a reality that I was not able to see in previous years. Negative energies lay dormant inside us all. They usually don’t get processed, even by the time we are dead. They guide our lives for decades, always in an invisible manner, and we sometimes wonder what might be buried deeper in our subconscious.

For me the problem has always been science and the fact that so many people place it in such high regard. While I might have been afraid to look at myself in the past, a prisoner to the conveniences that science provides, the consciousness calibration method has helped me now. If you dare to use it, and believe that there might be some truth to your results, you should also take a second look at Dr. David Hawkins books.  These are not scientific books but spiritual books. They utilize scientific language to help point the way to a higher truth, beyond science. Here’s something for the bullies of the world to consider; Stop staging those childish “double blind” experiments! Did you ever think that it might be YOU who is double blind, not the consciousness calibration method itself? Good luck and God Bless to those on the path and constructive comments are always welcome.

Alchemist's Corporate Ladder

Having moved away to a remote village in the Philippines after being “hit” by Dr. Hawkins’ discovery, I can give help to other students like me. If you feel overwhelmed by the fact that you cannot get through the level of reason and into the higher levels of love without breaking that “glass ceiling,” here is something to think about.

Groupthink is Everywhere

In fact, the phenomenon of ‘groupthink’ and the natural presence of individuals known as “mind guards” set up a virtual impossibility for those of us who wish to move through the level of reason and into the level of love. Dr. Tom Boone, PhD, and director of Exercise Physiology Laboratories at the College of St. Scholastica in Duluth, has written an excellent article about this phenomenon which can be found at this website. In it he explains how  friends, groups, teams, and organizations are important in satisfying relationships but that the relationships are easily derailed when conflicts surface.  For this reason,  group adherence often takes priority over objectivity in dealing with new ideas and possibilities (Boone, 2005). In corporations, when you have a great new discovery but nobody wants to hear about it, its sometimes best to remain silent and hope you don’t get fired. In spiritual groups, you may be surprised to hear that its often just better to leave.

Case in point is the muscle testing method of Dr. David R. Hawkins. Very few people can use the method successfully and this sets up a need for a group mentality in order to preserve the essential ideas given in Dr. Hawkins books. The groupthink mentality soon becomes “I like what Hawkins is saying but I don’t know about his method.” As Boone says, “This kind of conformity is bad for any business or organization that looks to its leaders and/or members for change, creativity, and new ideas.” How is the group supposed to proceed in relation to new calibrations and new discoveries? Hawkins himself claims that his statements are all verifiable through the use of his muscle testing method and, apart from a few references about the Kundalini, this has been the lifeblood of his teaching. When nobody else has the backbone to stand up and use Hawkins’ method, the ideas begin to lose their strength and groupthink begins to replace the Truth.

Boone goes on to discuss how leaders make their decisions. saying “Ninety-nine percent of the time it is an act carried out for the benefit of all employees of a business or the members of an organization.”  But what about that other 1%? if the muscle testing method tells us something we don’t want to hear or that we feel “uncomfortable” about, do we call in the mindguards and start setting up our protections? Do we pull the disenter into the fray before he starts saying more things we don’t like? This 1% case is one which Hawkins cites as occurring quite commonly around the levels of “460-540.” Here, the leaders may no longer have a desire to instruct subordinates who cannot use the method and individual members may not want to be part of a “fray” in the first place.  A specific example that Hawkins uses is the office of the US President which almost always calibrates around 460. Higher calibrating people would never want to hold such a position and would likely turn it down before they had to put up with all the hatred and criticism (Hawkins lecture, 2003.)

Walkouts

Walkouts happen in both corporate settings and spiritual groups. Dr. David Hawkins talks about the case of a walkout once a person reaches a certain level in the group but no longer sees their payscale as being appropriate. If the leader were to “walk out,” as Hawkins indicates as likely, this could be interpreted as an act of irresponsibility (Hawkins, Eye of the I.) Those choosing to make the lower rungs of the ladder would typically work through the consequences of their condition and stay on. In this sense, they would appear noble and would go on to serve as what Janis referred to as “mindguards” until they reach a higher level (Janis, 1977.) Of course, this may also be a condition which is set up by the fact that they have nowhere else to go. They need to “pay the spiritual bills” and frustrations and envy can certainly become dangerous issues at these levels as well.

The amazing thing about difficulties in spiritual groups is that all of these problems are dealt with in one great tidal wave of energy known as ‘groupthink.’ In fact, the phenomenon of groupthink is so common in spiritual groups that very few people have even considered the simple comparison to the corporate ladder model and the idea of “spiritual currency.”  In spiritual groups, we tow the line in order to stay on “at the company.” We don’t express out opinions too loudly because we don’t want to lose that spiritual paycheck that comes all the way down from the “head office.” In fact, the similarity in calibrations between Vice Presidents of corporations and ‘mindguards’ of spiritual groups is astounding. Both tend to calibrate in the 400′s and oftentimes down in the 300′s. They maintain their status through associations with other group members or even with the CEO (For an explanation on the levels of consciousness, read Dr. Hawkins Power vs. Force).

The model I hope to apply today is that members of various spiritual groups take their position in the group not much differently from the way an employee of a corporation takes a position. The only real difference is that the compensation comes in “spiritual currency” rather than actual gold. Alchemists may stand up and cheer now as I present Boone’s eight symptoms of groupthink which have been summarized here for easier reading. If you think you are becoming a victim of these, you might consider going out on your own. Give up that spiritual payroll you’ve been feeding on these past few years! Have you ever heard of a corporate gadfly?

Symptoms of Groupthink

1.   Mindguarding. To maintain the status quo of the group, members enforce blind adherence by not allowing alternative views from being presented.

2.   Stereotyping.  In order to avoid upsetting the established solidarity (and/or comfort zone) of the organization, it is believed necessary to negatively stereotype anyone not a member of the established organization.  Why?  Because outsiders are believed to be a threat to the way in which they do their business.

3.   Self-Censorship.  Members of the organization who would like to speak out and share their feelings about the alternative views do not because they believe it is not the right thing to do.

4.   Rationalization.  Instead of getting some backbone, members rationalize their behavior and interaction with non-members.

5.   Direct Pressure.  Part of the reason members don’t speak out is the “pressure by other members to conform.”  No one wants to be the “one dissenting voice” even if it’s the right thing to do.

6.  Illusion of Unanimity.   No one is likely to step forward…..out for fear of being laughed at or ridiculed.

7.  Illusion of Morality.  Again, as part of the feeling of group solidarity, the members believe it is okay to be mean and/or negative to others (or those who are perceived as a threat).  They even believe their behavior is ethical and/or appropriate, when it is obvious that isn’t the case at all.

8.   Illusion of Invulnerability.  “We are the best.”  “We were here first.”  This kind of thinking is evident of problems within the leadership.  Likewise, “The public knows we are credible.”  These statements suggest an attitude of invincibility.

Avatars Can’t Prevent Groupthink

The group of Alcoholics Anonymous went through great pains in the early years when they wanted to set up a list of traditions to guide their behavior. Gatewood, Taylor, and Ferrell (1995) point out in their “Management textbook” that groupthink can be prevented by breaking the group into smaller subgroups to discuss issues. However, in the case of spiritual groups, where the attractor field of the “CEO” is so much higher than the employees, this breakup of groups becomes almost impossible to achieve. The members are literally pulled in by the powerful tractor beam of their leader and cannot find the strength to go out on their own. They also take heed of the ‘mindguards’ positionalities for lack of a better solution. Then, if the attractor field is extremely big,  they eventually set up idols and worshiping practices for lack of a better solution.

Having the leader withhold his or her opinion about the issues within that group is also cited as an aide by Gatewood. Dr. David Hawkins’ can be congratulated for maintaining this approach in his own “unorganized group” as AA first suggested in their traditions “We ought never be organized but we can create service boards and committees…” (www.aa.org). With groupthink taken care of up through the early stages of love, this still leaves the difficulties up to the smaller group members. Gatewood then suggests bringing in “outside experts” to challenge the group’s thinking. A similar difficulty arises here in terms of how to determine who these outside “experts” really are and how disruptive they are allowed to be.

A case in point is that of Shawn Nevins, who appears to be a “spiritual expert” on his website spiritual teacher dot org. He is brought into a small group at Anlage Publishing but critical testing of his statements remains impossible for the group members. (See case in point in forums at Level of Consciousness dot com. In the forums there, a post was made to “Confirm Calibrations.”  Over 60 people visited the post in the first few days but only one person responded to the problem. This person, considered a “moderator” by the group, readily admits that they cannot use the calibration method. They then go on to explain that they are “uncomfortable” with the issue being raised. “Keep quiet,” as Boone explains, is the common sentiment amongst group members. Thus, as Boone states; “…..when it comes to preventing organizational groupthink, the challenges are significantly more complicated.”

Corporate Gadflies

The main point being made in this article is that, if certain members have the strength to be disruptive while also remaining in the loop, there might be hope and the promise of greater spiritual payrolls down the line. Stand up and fight! Show some backbone! Boone goes on to explain that forces that push for change are the disruptive forces.  “These forces unfreeze the attitudes and behaviors of the status quo.” Lucy Beal also discusses the issue of a “Frozen tier” at the bottom of a structure. She uses a wedding cake model to discuss the problems in marriage. The lower tiers support and gives cohesion to the rest of the cake but there is no moving beyond the fourth tier with adherence to this groupthink mentality. (Beal, Lucy, M.S., Marriage Under Construction, 2010).

Eventually, the individual must leave the group and it requires disruptive forces at the higher tiers to bring about a crisis. “Til death do we part” is the classic dictum in order to move up the ladder in marriage and this often seems the only solution when we are arguing with our spouse about something we have heard a hundred times already! When it comes time to move to the higher levels, a crisis must ensue and Jung’s individuation comes into play in greater and greater measure.

Returning to Boone’s discussion of the difficulties that exercise physiology has endured, housed within sports medicine, he cites his own disruptive force to be the founding of ASEP in 1997. Of course, he has higher hopes than I do for Dr. Hawkins’ groups. This is because the disruptive force of a group must be equal or at least close in power to the level of the groups leader. This is in order to have any lasting impact that could bring about renewed belief in muscle testing. We can all cause disruptions but who will really take us serious? Since no such person exists on the planet to compare with Dr. Hawkins, we are not likely to see a solution to this problem of ‘groupthink’ in the next several decades. Members will remain held within the tractor beam and disruptive forces will be thrown out or decide to “quit” almost immediately.

Boone explains that the new organization for which he is more hopeful, ASEP,  has set exercise physiologists free from the restraining forces of sports medicine. Will Dr. Hawkins’s group members be set free from the mindguards that are already setting themselves up around his work?  Other factors that have influenced the unfreezing of Boone’s groups include aspects of the professional infrastructure of the ASEP organization  such as a code of ethics, certification, accreditation, standards, and so forth. What will be the factors of Dr. Hawkins’ groups for unfreezing the groupthink that is already starting there? What will be their traditions and their manner of following them?

Taking Leave of the Group

My first spiritual teacher, Richard Rose, wrote an excellent poem which expressed the difficulty of leading a spiritual group into the great beyond. It is entitled “I Will Take Leave of You” and is published in his book Carillon.

I will take leave of you
Not by distinct farewell
But vaguely
As one entering vagueness
For words, symbols of confusion
Would only increase confusion
But silence, seeming to be vagueness,
Shall be my cadence,
Which someday
You will understand.

I doubt that I will be around to see the solution to this problem. If Richard Rose and Dr. Hawkins couldn’t stop it, how could I?  Good luck to those more courageous than me and God bless all interested in finding their own answers.

1. Boone, T. (2002).  Exercise Physiology of the Future: Thinking Out of the Box.  Professionalization of Exercise Physiologyonline. 5:11 [Online]. http://faculty.css.edu/tboone2/asep/ThinkingOutsideTheBoxExercisePhysiology.html

2. Boone, T. (2004).  Show Some Backbone!  Professionalization of Exercise Physiologyonline. 7:11 [Online]. http://faculty.css.edu/tboone2/asep/ShowSomeBackbone.html

3. Gatewood, R.D., Taylor, R.R., and Ferrell, O.C. (1995). Management: Comprehension, Analysis, and Application. Chicago, IL: Austen Press.